WHAT I FELT

 When I saw Baba in the freezer, my brain stopped processing. I was in such a shock that my brain decided to disbelieve what it saw. I went upstairs to change (I had just come back from school) and felt a small vacuum inside me. Another vacuum that couldn’t be filled.

The next day while tying the golden ladder to Baba’s feet, I felt so numb that I couldn’t feel anything. When we went to the funeral place, I had to do a lot of rituals because I was the only representative of the fourth generation. In the end, when the pyre was lit, I couldn’t help to notice the amount of smoke it emitted into the air. I felt bad that even on Baba’s funeral we were harming the atmosphere.

When we came back and had that big meal, I got the same feeling I got on Baba’s birthday. Happy, loved, and the feeling of a community. Expect for the fact that Baba wasn’t here. But his soul was eating all the jalebi's and rasmalai's he wanted


baba and me

Comments

  1. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2023 at 5:12 PM

    Hey Bambi, so heartfelt . Pain mingled with sweetness.
    Baba’s loving blessings are always with you.
    Love you dear.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousSeptember 6, 2023 at 9:03 PM

    Dear Banbi
    I am touched to read our child is so grownup you expressed your feelings so beautifully
    I am sure Dear Baba's blessings r always with u
    Much love
    Nani

    ReplyDelete

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